I recently read a blog post from a girl - which, unfortunately I cannot seem to find after much time trawling the internet!
Anyway the essence of it was an important question - 'Are you really living, or are you just existing?'
Are you working a job that you love, or that fulfills you in some way - while earning an income from it at the same time?
Are you doing something each day towards your purpose?
It made me feel so full of gratitude and love to be able to answer those questions with a vivacious 'YES!'
But this was not always the case...for years I felt as though I was drifting, trying things out, going from job to job, to see what exactly it was that I wanted to do when I "grew up".
I made a lot of decisions I'm not proud of and stayed in situations that were not healthy for me for much longer than I should have.
This was not helped by having painfully low self esteem and self worth, never learning about boundaries, and wanting to please others so they would like me, particularly one 'significant' person who is a dangerous narcissist.
{To find out more start here https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201511/the-7-things-only-narcissists-will-do}.
I can look back in retrospect and know now that this was all valuable time spent learning - learning about what things made me feel alive, learning about who I wanted to have around me, learning about setting my boundaries.
It was a long journey, in fact is still an ongoing journey, pushing through fear and uncertainty but what I gained was clarity of my purpose - put on Earth to work with plants and people.
For all kinds of reasons people feel too afraid to move from the job they hate, the relationship that no longer makes them happy, allowing themselves to be defeated by a 'diagnosis', the list goes on...staying stagnant due to fear that if they transition from their current situation it may be worse.
But can it really get worse than feeling as though you are just existing?
Living in autopilot mode? As if someone else is in charge of your choices?
I don't mean relinquishing all responsibility, not paying your rent or car registration, or don't turn up to work on Monday, or just stop taking the medication you need, or run out on your relationship without an explanation...
I mean, stop escaping life by staying in your rigid routine; by focusing on the scandal of others; by binge eating; by binge watching; by binge drinking!
Start to moonlight with the idea of a life that fulfills YOU!
Start exploring things that make you feel alive.
Is it a new hobby? Is it helping others? A new career?
Start letting these things infiltrate your life little by little.
Allow yourself to experiment with your life like when you were a child - going from the sandpit, to painting, to reading, to cooking, to playing in the playground.
Start living your life as if it is the ultimate, most amazing, satisfying, inspiring life you have always dreamed of - and it will happen!
This video (link below) really hit home for me!
The detriment and devastation that drug use can have on individuals, families and communities is sadly all too familiar.
This young woman's ability to shift her perspective of her life into a positive one, when it is clear her upbringing was less than ideal, highlights our eternal ability to make choices.
Even if we only have two choices, there will always be one that is going to serve us more healthfully than the other. Which one do you choose?